Love Hindering Habits

Attachment, like most matters of the heart, is a complex affair. Some days the capacity for deep healing is not available.

If avoidant attachment has hit a suppressive level, withdrawal has most likely become a habit. Habits make it easy to lose touch with what is within your control.

One doable step toward secure attachment is simply starting to recognize when shutting down begins to occur. Awareness of a pattern is the first step in giving yourself another option.

Once you Identify a tendency of detachment, you can then consciously stop yourself from disengaging by default. You can take a moment to evaluate if you feel safe enough to remain engaged, thus breaking the cycle and offering yourself a choice.

Take a deep breath, slow down, and give yourself the chance to connect with others.

Comments

Revisting: If I Were a Bird & The Season of the Ox

Today I'm revisting two posts from June of this year. My regular devotional reading has me back in Ezekiel and back to the four living creatures. With the Hebrew calendar ending in September, today was the first day I asked the Lord for my word for this upcoming Hebrew year. All things considered, I felt it necessary to revist these posts. Now, I know of at least one dream that was not from the Lord. I'm not sure I am done learning about the ox, but I've learned a little. If I were a Bird Recently I had three separate people, in three distinct settings begin a thought with, "If I were a bird." Bizarre, right? At the first comment, I began to joyfully hear Nelly Furtado's "I'm Like a Bird" song in my head. By the third comment, in a matter of just forty-eight hours, I was curious. I could not recall ever hearing anyone share such a thought before, and then to have a few in a short matter of time had me wondering. Seemed either an odd coincidence...

Revisting: Never Ignore

Today, we are revisting a post from July 13, 2023. One thing we can count on is changing emotions. One day we deal with intense anger, the next extreme apathy. Our emotions may not be wise, but they are telling. Never Ignore I came cruising into my day refreshed and ready to go. Then, I experienced anger. Someone's misinformation inconvenienced my easy, breezy day. Anger is one of those emotions I find less becoming than others. I was trying to calm myself down when Holy Spirit reminded me that I was not designed to reconcile my emotions on my own. In the past, I have fallen prey to ignoring and stuffing my emotions, but nowadays, I am more likely to try and reconcile my emotions on my own. Perhaps when I have "figured out" what needs to change, I then might go to God to request said changes. Today, I managed to be reminded that God likes us to come to Him raw. In the heat of anger or depths of despair, He wants to be invited into what we are feeling, thinking, and exper...

Revisiting: A Spoon Full of Sugar & Mom

A recent visit from my family has reminded me of a truth. Most children end up marrying a version of their primary caregiver. Below is a poem I wrote reflecting this fact, as well as a blog post from May 14, 2023. <My Spoon Full of Sugar> I married Mary Poppins. It is true. No surprise for Mary is my mother too. They sing in the morning and like things tidy and clean. No time for nonsense or excuses, only good behavior will do. They are stern, responsible and sensible… a little vain and irritable too. They never explain anything but are diligent caretakers paying their due. Yet he is my spoonful of sugar helping the medicine of life go down. He loves with delicately balanced quesadillas and grilled cheese. She loved with neatly cut and arrayed platters of fruits and veggies. He is “practically perfect in every way,” or so they say. Attractive, enthusiastic, and well dressed, busy but playful. They cook and clean, work and...

Canyons & Fireworks

Search This Blog