Finding Your People

A lot of memes on social media talk about who is not part of your tribe. You were rejected, mistreated, undervalued, or your pain and accomplishments were minimized. Well don't stress, those aren't your people. However little conversation emerges about how to find your place among your peers.

Building community is tough for all people because human flaws get in the way. For the individual suffering from attachment issues, community is doubly challenging.

Yes, healthy boundaries need to be set. You can love and forgive from afar without engaging in relationships with those who are unsafe. Yet one must discern wisely. For those with avoidant attachment style any minor infraction may spark a harsh disillusionment. Just as one with an anxious attachment style may be too forgiving and subject themselves to unnecessary harm.

The key is prayer and awareness. Before I was significantly healed I prayed for the right friends. I was trying but not there yet, and God answered my prayer. Not only was a void filled but the very friendships God provided helped tip the scales of my healing. There lies the paradox. Dealing with attachment issues makes it difficult to have healthy relationships yet healthy relationships carry healing for attachment issues. The need for Divine intervention is great.

Pray for healthy relationships. God will not withhold His goodness!

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