Skip to main content

Finding Your People

A lot of memes on social media talk about who is not part of your tribe. You were rejected, mistreated, undervalued, or your pain and accomplishments were minimized. Well don't stress, those aren't your people.  However little conversation emerges about how to find your place among your peers.


Building community is tough for all people because human flaws get in the way. For the individual suffering from attachment issues, community is doubly challenging. 


Yes, healthy boundaries need to be set. You can love and forgive from afar without engaging in relationships with those who are unsafe. Yet one must discern wisely. For those with avoidant attachment style any minor infraction may spark a harsh disillusionment.  Just as one with an anxious attachment style may be too forgiving and subject themselves to unnecessary harm. 


The key is prayer and awareness. Before I was significantly healed I prayed for the right friends. I was trying but not there yet, and God answered my prayer. Not only was a void filled but the very friendships God provided helped tip the scales of my healing.  There lies the paradox. Dealing with attachment issues makes it difficult to have healthy relationships yet healthy relationships carry healing for attachment issues. The need for Divine intervention is great.


Pray for healthy relationships. God will not withhold His goodness!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Resisting: Wisdom & Worth

This week's revisited archived post is from May 26, 2023.  Yesterday I finished the short series Howard's End . The main character, Margaret Schlegel, gives a beautiful explanation of worth in regard to her marriage choice. Margaret's wise words to her sister, "I do not intend to correct him, or reform him. Only connect. That is the whole of my sermon. I have not undertaken to fashion a husband to suit myself using Henry's soul as raw materials." Wisdom & Worth Wedding season is peaking! What better book to read than the Song of Solomon in a month full of marriage? The book of poems is rather sensual for biblical times and reflects God's intense desire for us, His bride; but there is more... Interestingly, the Song of Solomon is considered one of the five books of wisdom and, more specifically, one of the three books of Solomon's wisdom.   In chapter two the bride says, "My lover has arrived and he's speaking to me!" (MSG) What is He ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Revisting: If I Were a Bird & The Season of the Ox

Today I'm revisting two posts from June of this year. My regular devotional reading has me back in Ezekiel and back to the four living creatures. With the Hebrew calendar ending in September, today was the first day I asked the Lord for my word for this upcoming Hebrew year. All things considered, I felt it necessary to revist these posts. Now, I know of at least one dream that was not from the Lord. I'm not sure I am done learning about the ox, but I've learned a little.  If I were a Bird Recently I had three separate people, in three distinct settings begin a thought with, "If I were a bird."  Bizarre, right? At the first comment, I began to joyfully hear Nelly Furtado's "I'm Like a Bird" song in my head. By the third comment, in a matter of just forty-eight hours, I was curious. I could not recall ever hearing anyone share such a thought before, and then to have a few in a short matter of time had me wondering. Seemed either an odd coincidence...
Post a Comment
Read more

Revisiting: A Spoon Full of Sugar & Mom

A recent visit from my family has reminded me of a truth. Most children end up marrying a version of their primary caregiver. Below is a poem I wrote reflecting this fact, as well as a blog post from May 14, 2023. <My Spoon Full of Sugar> I married Mary Poppins. It is true.  No surprise for Mary is my mother too. They sing in the morning and like things tidy and clean. No time for nonsense or excuses, only good behavior will do. They are stern, responsible and  sensible…  a little vain and irritable too. They never explain anything but are diligent caretakers  paying  their  due. Yet he is my spoonful of sugar helping the medicine of life  go down. He loves with delicately balanced   quesadillas and grilled cheese. She loved with neatly cut and arrayed platters of fruits and veggies. He is “practically perfect in every way,”  or so they say. Attractive, enthusiastic, and well dressed, busy but playful. They cook and clean, work and...
Post a Comment
Read more