Encouragement and Correction

Are you an encourager? 

Maybe your gifting is more geared toward correction. Ephesians tells us that there are pastors, teachers, evangelists, apostles, and prophets (Ephesians 4:11). Regardless of the role, one usually has a predisposition for either grace or the law.  

I have often been described as an encourager.  The gift comes naturally to me because I pay attention and remember details and interactions. Perhaps it’s because I am observant that I can easily spot areas of needed correction. I cannot shut off what I see just because the behaviors have become less admirable.

Recently, the conflict between Paul and Barnabas came to mind (Acts 15:36-41) and I mentioned it to my husband, Rob. I have always wondered if it was Paul or Barnabas who was in the right. Any commentary I have read about the matter is summed up to something like: Paul needed Barnabas to get into Christian community. Community was essential for the call of God on Paul's life. Barnabas was the only person with enough influence who validated the change in Paul to the other Christians. Whether or not either party was correct is irrelevant. What is relevant, is that their friendship served an eternal purpose; and neither party allowed their conflict to bring division among the other believers of the early church.

This critique has never satisfied me.  Later that day Rob picked up his normal Bible reading and came upon the very scriptures regarding the disagreement. Immediately, Rob was filled with hope and believed God wanted to bring some clarity.

That Sunday, a guest speaker came to our church via Brazil with the answer! Once we heard the topic, we were on the edge of our seats as if at an opening day of a long-awaited movie sequel to a box office hit. The Brazilian preacher used scripture to come to his conclusion and I could not have been more satisfied with his findings. 

Paul did not trust Mark because he had left the work of ministry, but Barnabas saw a change in Mark. Barnabas proved to be correct about both Paul and Mark. The “Mark” in question is the same Mark who authored one of the gospels. Paul later, as recorded in 2 Timothy 4:11, asks for Mark and calls him "useful to me for ministry." (NKJV)

Paul's sanctimonious mistake was not recognizing the very transformative power of God that changed him, was at work in Mark. “We must forgive and truly believe in the transformative power of God, not just in ourselves but others,” petitioned the benevolent Brazilian.

Two additional notions arose in my heart. 

First, Barnabas was clearly an encourager and corrector. He encouraged and corrected Paul like no one else could. The gift of observation allows one to truly see someone else in all their strengths and weaknesses. The encourager gains authority to speak a word of correction into the one he has encouraged. I am not speaking of spiritual authority; I am speaking of relational integrity. Although, Paul and Barnabas parted ways over the conflict, I am sure Barnabas’ stand left Paul unsettled. While uncomfortable, the issue was eventually resolved for the gospel. 

If you are an encourager do not be afraid to prayerfully offer loving correction. Like Barnabas, you may be called upon to be more assertive, one day.

Secondly, I could not help but notice the destructive power of abandonment. Paul might have seemed like the biggest hypocrite of the New Testament. Paul had been forgiven and even elevated to role of apostle after persecuting early Christians and approving the stoning of Stephen (Acts 8:1-25). Whereas Mark left the ministry but wanted to come back. 

Humans have an awful propensity for offense and unforgiveness that poisons relationships but in Paul’s eyes Mark abandoned them. Unkind words can ring in our ears for decades, but abandonment is like death to a relationship. When one leaves, the one left behind feels disregarded as unvaluable. 

Children and spouses who are deserted have legitimate wounds and are justified in having strong boundaries against their offender. Yet, here we see the need for forgiveness for even the runaways.

On some level we have all been guilty of abandonment. While it might not be a physical abandonment, there is also emotionally and mentally checking out. Running away, checking out, and shutting down are unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with feelings of being overwhelmed. An insecure attachment style can cause such feelings and subsequent behaviors to emerge in inappropriate situations.

If you have been abandoned, reflect on your own areas of escapism and consider forgiveness. If you have been the abandoner, there is mercy, grace, and forgiveness for you in the arms of Christ. Like Mark, your absolution could lead to a Kingdom building calling.