I hear a lot of criticism launched at the church today. People are unsatisfied when the worship music is "boring" and upset when it's "too much like a concert." Disapproval follows sermons preached in the topical style, but church members don't understand the exegetical style.
A friend of mine once shared some ministry woes from her years as a preacher's wife. Her husband first preached at a small church and was compensated very little. Given their meager budget, their children's clothing could not keep up with the latest styles. Sadly, their daughter was severely bullied by other girls at the church for not being fashionable enough.
The same friend suffered more scorn a few years later. Her husband moved to a different church and was paid a little bit more, but the family was still on a tight budget. My friend got a job at a department store and as an employee, she received a much needed discount. More importantly, she got first dibs at the sales rack and as a result, was finally able to update her family's wardrobe quite economically. Unfortunately, the members of the new church condemned the family for being materialistic and even complained that her husband must have been paid too much.
The treatment at the two churches displayed cruelty and unwise judgement. The members of this family were quite literally making sacrifices for the sake of the gospel and the congregations, only to receive fault finding in return. The maltreatment left the children disillusioned, the mother frustrated, and added unnecessary stress to the father.
I have heard similar accounts of extreme scrutiny from other people in ministry. My friend's experience elucidates the fine line ministers and their family members are expected to walk.
Instead of support and care, clergy face the watchful eye of those who behave like Goldilocks. Parishioners complain that the porridge is too salty and once any changes are made, suddenly the porridge is too sweet!
Often, when unkindness abounds many eyes are wide open when peering at others, yet scarcely squinting when gazing upon themselves.
Once, a preacher shared the story of his first day as an associate pastor. He was fresh out of seminary and eager to get started. The young man arrived early in his Sunday best and discovered that a dump truck had spilled garbage all over the church lawn. His youthful zeal caused him to be grieved by the state of the church.
The energetic associate pastor diligently got busy cleaning up the mess. He took no regard for the southern heat and soiled his freshly starched button-down shirt quickly. His pure heart cleaned up someone else's mess for the sake of the church when the Lord spoke to him, "Welcome to the ministry."
Those standing at the pulpit are people, too. They have strengths and weakness just as we all do.
Each one's unique God-given identity allows him or her to express praise, gratitude, and reverence in their own special way. If in leadership, authority also plays out in any number of different forms. Pastors are in process and constantly making mistakes and learning, just as we all are in our chosen profession.
Read the words of the Apostle Paul when referring to the marks of the ministry.
2 Corinthians 6 (NKJV)
We give no offense in anything, that our ministry may not be blamed. But in all things we commend ourselves as ministers of God: in much patience, in tribulations, in needs, in distresses, in stripes, in imprisonments, in tumults, in labors, in sleeplessness, in fastings; by purity, by knowledge, by longsuffering, by kindness, by the Holy Spirit, by sincere love, by the word of truth, by the power of God, by the armor of righteousness on the right hand and on the left, by honor and dishonor, by evil report and good report; as deceivers, and yet true; as unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and behold we live; as chastened, and yet not killed; as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, and yet possessing all things.
Perhaps we can all extend a little more grace when looking toward our church leaders. Life is hard, leadership is harder. How well have you manged in the areas where others were dependent on you or you wielded some level of control? Did you hurt others by your missteps?
My closing thought is not from a worship leader or a man of the cloth but from a beauty queen. The beauty pagent contestant was a mother to young kids. She woke in the wee hours of the morning to get fully adorned in pagent hair, makeup, and attire to spend time with the Lord before her children awoke.
This is something I would never do and seems ridiculously unnecessary.
When asked why she went to such great lengths to focus on her appearance to approach God she responded with something profound. The beautiful mother said, "I go through this process to present myself to men, how much more should I prepare myself to seek God?"
This statement rocks my theology and convicts any nitpicking I have against the church for being too much like the world.
Let us not castigate any one or group for their expression of faith to the Living God.
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