Canyons & Fireworks

This week I had an experience that felt like a vision. Part of my job is to go out into the community and invite people to check out my business. Many of the neighborhoods I visit have big trees and one story brick houses reasonably valued. I was strolling along in one of these charming neighborhoods in the breezy seventy five degree weather with birds chirping, and butterflies fluttering about when I noticed something unusual.  Across the street was a lavish multimillion dollar estate, on several acres, surrounded by a fence and complete with a gate. The gate, however, was wide open.  The Hebrew year is about to change. Prophetically we are entering the year of "The Open Door."  I was struck by the symbolism and decided, I would respond to the invitation and go introduce myself.  It was less about an earthly exchange and more about a prophetic act. It appeared no one was home so I was especially relaxed.  Just as I crossed the threshold, I was struck by fear. I...

Joshua said unto the people, Sanctify yourselves: for tomorrow the Lord will do wonders among you (KJV).  The word "sanctify" has several meanings. Objects can be sanctified but to sanctify a person is to make him or her holy. Sanctification is a state of being separated unto God. 1 Corinthians 1:30 references the sanctification that occurs when one is born again. In this sense sanctification is more about the work of God in our lives. The second definition of the word is probably most fitting for what Joshua directed. This sanctification is the result of our obedience to the word of God and is to be actively pursued by believers. I feel a strong pull to enter into a season of sanctification, and believe this season will bring forth some long awaited promises.  In particular, I feel an urgency to cleanse myself of fears; more specifically, fears that may be disguised.  Some fears masquerade as something more like anger or resistance.  These fears take the work of Hol...

When I worked in childcare, I noticed almost every little boy's favorite bible story was David and Goliath. Any other narrative was a distant runner-up. I remember one preschooler coloring over a handout of Goliath looming tall above a sling in hand David. The enthusiast declared he was going to take Goliath's sword and "kill Satan" with it, just like David! We teachers enjoyed the toddler's zeal and rested in the knowledge that his theology had time to mature.  Who doesn't admire King David? The neglected son who became a giant killer, the harpist who dispelled an evil spirit, and the anointed king who was reduced to a hunted fugitive toughs on heart strings of men and women alike. Young David had more life experiences than most before ever ruling as king over all of Israel.  What our little warrior felt was the fundamental desire to overcome evil with good. We have all felt it at one time or another.  The basic instinct to see justice prevail is at the core ...

Irritation, the secretion of bodily fluids, and six months to several years is how a pearl is formed. Oysters secrete the same materials that make up their shell to protect against an irritation or parasite invading their space. My name means pearl and the whole glamoursless process hits close to home.  As an extreme extrovert I understand I can be a bit much for people with my loud and aggressive traits. My journey of intense inner healing doesn't help me be less irritating.  Living through an international parental kidnapping, only to be stolen back to the United States and having to learn a new language does not make me fit for small talk. Like an oyster, the pain of being ripped from every caregiver I had before the age of three, caused me to build an extra shell of protection internally.  The process of removing the inner wall was long and all incumpusing. Fortunately, through the redemptive power of Jesus, the extra shell was removed and transformed into a treasure...

My husband, Rob, has a burning desire to see someone raised from the dead. My Gramma had the same desire. Gramma read up on the great revivalists who performed such miracles and longed to see revival sparked again. Rob has the same evangelical heart. He has dreams about a resurrection and sometimes feels so expectant for the miraculous. Growing up with Gramma as my teacher we read and discussed the book of Acts a lot. Today in my regular reading I came across Luke 24. The resurrection of Jesus is starting to be revealed to the disciplines. Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary the mother of James and other women go to bring prepared spices to the tomb of Jesus. Upon their arrival they are met with an empty tomb and two men in shining garments. The men ask, "Why do you seek the living among the dead?"  Of course we now know this question was a proclamation of Christ's resurrection. This morning I sensed a secondary message. The women, in obedience, rested on the Sabbath after Jesus...

My husband and I had our routine check-ups this week. He is an emergency room nurse and promptly schedules all of our appointments. For two decades of my adult life, I took care of these matters myself. His planning is a welcome change in married life. He is also handy and takes immaculate care of our yard. Really I won the husband lottery because he also cooks, cleans, and is good at basically everything.   Not that he does everything. We share a fairly even distribution of responsibilities in running our household and raising our daughter. I may not be handy but I was a responsible homeowner before we met. As someone who left home at 17 and married at 37, I learned how to take care of things on my own, but life is better together. Both my husband and I express great appreciation for what the other does for our family, but the truth is we could both thrive without each other.  I have never agreed with the philosophy that your spouse appears when you are no longer looking...

I went to a church that shut down every July. The sabbatical served two major purposes.  First the staff was ensured a respite every year. Secondly, members were encouraged to visit other churches.   The practice welcomed three unconventional possibilities. Members were commissioned to share our church's strengths with other churches; and/or, conversely, members could glean strengths from others to bring back home in August.  Lastly, should one visit another church and feel more at home elsewhere, members were free to prayerfully explore making a more permanent change. An endless discussion could be had regarding the need for ministerial rest, but I want to touch on the refreshing philosophy of not being obsessed with church attendance.  My current pastor seems utterly unconcerned with church numbers. Furthermore the man he is on stage is exactly the man he is at home and everywhere else. That is not to say he doesn't present well. On the contrary, he embodies d...

One of the greatest forces on the planet is the power of forgiveness. Jesus' ultimate earthly mission is redemption through forgiveness of sins. We have the privilege of drinking from the same cup of forgiveness, but sometimes the drink tastes more like a bitter pill than a soothing balm.  Today I was reminded that God not only forgives but He also restores. A spirit of penitence can befall us if we think we have to start at the beginning everytime we wander from the righteous path. We can feel a need to punish ourselves to feel acceptable again. Contrary to this belief, God offers forgiveness and restoration freely but not forcibly. If we only take Him up on His offer of forgiveness, He will not force His restoration on us.  Forgiveness comes through confession. How does God's restoration manifest? Let's look to John 21 for the answer. Peter has denied Jesus three times (as prophesied) while Jesus was crucified but Jesus has already started to reveal Himself as the Risen S...

Before I got married I used to always say, "The Church really doesn't know how to minister to singles." I am not talking about the 22 year olds who are recently out of college and just starting out in life; I'm talking about those who deal with prolonged singleness.  How do you encourage a 39 year old who wants to have kids, is single, and doesn't seem to have a prospect in sight? I did not get married until I was 37 and I still don't know that I have a good response to that question. Having stumbled through it, I can say, "Life was always better the more I focused on God, and could turn miserable whenever my concentration was placed elsewhere." While this is absolutely true, such comments offered little comfort while I was going through uncertainties about my future.   I now understand, God always wanted to give me the desires of my heart; I just wasn't ready. I was afraid of intimacy and often sabotaged healthy relationships. My expectations ab...

One of my favorite books of all time is Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice.  The beloved Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy nearly disregard their potential happiness together because of pride and prejudices. The two are able to work past their preconceived notions of each other and enter into a happy marriage. The struggles depicted in Austen's masterpiece are understandable and common. The challenges are also manageable as the two do end up together.  True attachment issues are different.  Mere misunderstandings can be clarified but attachment issues are formed at the most primitive stages of life and are not necessarily conscious misconceptions that can be rationally cleared up.  Attachment issues reside at the core of one's heart and mind. Fortunately victory is possible with the correct care, understanding, patience, and grace.  If you or someone you love has attachment issues have mercy. People suffering from insecure attachments are lonely and can feel alienat...

If you grew up before the dawn of cell phones, chances are you engaged in the risky business of note passing. As a 90s kid I am a part of the last great generation of crafty paper exchangers. Nothing could make you feel more honored and expectant than to receive a comrades handwritten note shared under dangerous conditions. We all braved equally menacing odds to uncover precious contraband messages. Today's kids will never know such thrills. I feel like God is throwing His children a message now. The tattered and wrinkled note asks, "Are you rooted in fear or love?" Do not be so quick to answer. This is a complex age old question.   The Bible tells us that perfect love casts out fear which unearths two startling notions. First, not all love is perfect and secondly, if perfect love casts out fear what does imperfect love do? Attachment theory queries one main question, "Does your love have a foundation of fear or security. "  If your love is based in fear you may...

A lot of memes on social media talk about who is not part of your tribe. You were rejected, mistreated, undervalued, or your pain and accomplishments were minimized. Well don't stress, those aren't your people.  However little conversation emerges about how to find your place among your peers. Building community is tough for all people because human flaws get in the way. For the individual suffering from attachment issues, community is doubly challenging.  Yes, healthy boundaries need to be set. You can love and forgive from afar without engaging in relationships with those who are unsafe. Yet one must discern wisely. For those with avoidant attachment style any minor infraction may spark a harsh disillusionment.  Just as one with an anxious attachment style may be too forgiving and subject themselves to unnecessary harm.  The key is prayer and awareness. Before I was significantly healed I prayed for the right friends. I was trying but not there yet, and God answere...